How to Communicate What You Want to Your Barber

One of the most common frustrations in barbershops isn't a lack of skill—it's a breakdown in communication. You sit down with a vision in your head, the barber starts cutting, and somehow the result doesn't match what you were expecting. Sound familiar?

The truth is, getting the haircut you want isn't just about finding a skilled barber (though that's crucial). It's about learning how to communicate clearly, using the right language, and understanding how barbers think about hair.

Whether you're a first-timer or a regular client trying to dial in your perfect cut, here's how to make sure you and your barber are on the same page.

Start with a Reference Photo (But Use It the Right Way)

Bringing a photo is one of the best tools in your communication arsenal—but only if you use it correctly.

Do this:

• Bring multiple angles of the same haircut if possible (front, sides, back)

• Choose photos of people with similar hair type and texture to yours

• Use the photo as a starting point for conversation, not a blueprint

• Be open when your barber explains what will or won't work for your hair

Don't do this:

• Show a picture of a celebrity with completely different hair texture or face shape

• Expect an exact replica without discussion

• Get defensive if your barber suggests modifications

Your barber isn't trying to disappoint you—they're managing expectations based on what's actually possible with your hair type, growth patterns, and lifestyle.

Learn the Basic Terminology

You don't need to become a barbering expert, but knowing a few key terms will help you communicate more precisely.

Essential terms to know:

Fade – A gradual transition from shorter to longer hair, typically on the sides and back. Types include:

• Low fade – starts just above the ears

• Mid fade – starts around temple level

• High fade – starts higher up the sides

• Skin fade – goes down to bare skin at the shortest point

Taper – A more subtle, gradual blend than a fade; less dramatic contrast

Texture – How much dimension or "piece-y" definition is in the hair

Length on top – Be specific. "Short" means different things to different people. Use measurements (2-3 inches) or finger widths if possible

Lineup/edge up – Cleaning up the hairline around the forehead, temples, and sideburns

Beard fade – Blending your beard into your haircut seamlessly

When in doubt, ask your barber to show you examples or explain the difference between terms you're unsure about.

Be Specific About Length

"Just a trim" or "not too short" are some of the vaguest instructions you can give—and they're shockingly common.

Instead of saying:

• "Just clean it up"

• "A little shorter"

• "Not too much off the top"

Try saying:

• "Take off about half an inch on top, fade the sides to a 1 guard"

• "I want to keep enough length on top to style it forward"

• "Bring the sides down but leave enough for texture"

If you're not comfortable with guard numbers or measurements, use your fingers. "I want to keep about this much length on top" while showing two or three fingers gives your barber a visual reference.

Describe Your Lifestyle and Styling Routine

A great barber doesn't just cut hair—they design a cut that fits your life. Help them do that by being honest about:

How much time you spend on your hair

• "I style it every day with product" vs. "I literally just towel dry and go"

• This determines how much texture, layering, or styling-dependent shaping makes sense

Your work environment

• Corporate? Creative? Client-facing?

• This affects how conservative or bold your cut should be

How often you get haircuts

• Every 2 weeks? Once a month? Every 6 weeks?

• This determines how the cut should be shaped to grow out well

Your activity level

• Do you hit the gym daily? Swim? Wear hats?

• These factors affect what styles will actually hold up in your routine

Communicate About Your Hair's Quirks

Your barber is skilled, but they're not psychic. If you know your hair does weird things, speak up.

Mention things like:

• "My hair sticks straight up in the back when it's short"

• "I have a cowlick on the left side that won't lay flat"

• "My hairline is receding on the temples"

• "My hair gets really poofy when it's humid"

These aren't complaints—they're useful information that helps your barber make adjustments and work with your hair's natural tendencies instead of against them.

Be Honest About What Didn't Work Last Time

If you're coming back after a cut you weren't happy with—whether at the same shop or somewhere else—don't just stay silent and hope for the best.

Say something like:

• "Last time the sides were a bit too high—can we keep the fade lower?"

• "The top was too short to style the way I wanted"

• "The blend on the back wasn't as smooth as I'd like"

Good barbers appreciate this feedback. It's not criticism—it's collaboration. You're giving them the information they need to give you exactly what you want.

Trust Your Barber's Expertise (But Speak Up During the Cut)

Once you've communicated your vision, trust your barber's skill and judgment. They understand hair structure, growth patterns, and what techniques will achieve the result you want.

That said, if something seems off while they're cutting, it's okay to ask questions:

• "Can you explain what you're doing here?"

• "Will this still blend once it's styled?"

• "Is this shorter than we discussed?"

A confident barber won't be offended by questions—they'll welcome the chance to keep you in the loop.

What to Do If You're Not Happy with the Result

Despite best efforts, sometimes the cut doesn't turn out as expected. Here's how to handle it:

During the appointment: If you notice something immediately, speak up before you leave the chair. Most barbers would rather make adjustments on the spot than have you leave unhappy.

After you leave: If you get home and realize something's off, call the shop. Most barbershops will ask you to come back for a complimentary adjustment.

Be specific about what's wrong:

• Don't just say "I don't like it"

• Explain exactly what's not working: "The fade line is too high" or "The top is uneven"

Build a Relationship with Your Barber

Here's the secret to always getting a great cut: find a barber you trust and stick with them.

When you see the same barber regularly:

• They learn your hair's quirks and growth patterns

• Communication gets easier because they know your style preferences

• You build shorthand—eventually you might just say "same as last time but a bit tighter on the sides"

• They can proactively suggest what will work as your hair changes or trends evolve

The best client-barber relationships are built over multiple appointments. Give it time, communicate clearly, and watch your cuts get better and better.

Final Thoughts

Getting the haircut you want isn't about being demanding or difficult—it's about being clear, collaborative, and communicative. The barbers who are best at their craft aren't just skilled with scissors and clippers; they're skilled at listening, interpreting, and translating your vision into reality.

Come prepared with visuals, be specific about what you want, be honest about your lifestyle, and trust the process. Your barber wants you to walk out feeling confident and looking sharp—help them help you.

After all, a good cut changes how you move through the world. Make sure you're communicating well enough to get the one you deserve.